Is something wrong with me??

I feel so numb inside.Last night when we went and saw fireproof.While other women were crying.While my eyes filled with tears they never fell.I dont remeber the last time I realy cried,Not even in pain.I just feel so numb.I think Im afraid to cry.Afraid that once I start I wont be able to stop.Most og you know what my family has gone through this past year and I dont recall crying once??? My eyes may have misted but as far as crying NO!!!!!!! I feel so cold hearted.But so numb realy.I almost have a feeling that others may think Im strange because of this.BUT I cant cry I dont know why fear or just the shock of everything that has happened hasnt worn off,I mean could I be still in shock,Maybe denial??????? I have been there before my heart tends to understand things first before my brain clicks.I hope Im sense here,So if anything heartbreaking,or the later is going on and you see me.Just know whats going on?? Its because I cant or the tears just wont fall.Im not cold hearted lst I dont think I am.????????? Maybe Im just numb right now and Im running on some suvior mode??? Ok I think Im going to close now.Im rambling which I tend to do to much of,LOL!!!